Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Charles M. Schulz

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Jay Leno

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Walt Disney

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
Zsa Zsa Gabor

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
Garry Shandling

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
Alanis Morissette

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
Fernando Pessoa

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
Christopher Marlowe

We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
Pearl Bailey

In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares?
Amy Poehler

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
Fred Allen

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Laurence J. Peter

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
Natalie Wood

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
Charles de Gaulle

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.
Cher