Evan Esar Quotes

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.

Evan Esar



A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended.

Evan Esar



A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

Evan Esar



America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Evan Esar



Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

Evan Esar



Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

Evan Esar



Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Evan Esar



Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

Evan Esar



Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

Evan Esar



The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

Evan Esar



The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

Evan Esar



Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Evan Esar